Did you hear about the statistician who used to go out with a lot of girls but didn’t like to talk about it? He was a discrete data.
So two atoms were walking down the street and one goes, “Oh no, I’ve lost an electron!” The second one goes “Are you sure!?” and the first one goes “I’M POSITIVE!”
What did the light bulb say to the power generator? You spark up my life!
An eighth-grade science teacher spent a class explaining the difficulties of doing experiments. She discussed such things as background noise, equipment malfunction, conceptual mistakes and so on. At the end of the hour, she summarized the situation rather pessimistically as “Badness comes in waves.” The students were then asked to go home, research the topic further and write an essay entitled, “The Difficult Nature of Doing Scientific Experiments.” One student wrote a rather good report but ended it with the sentence: “Baldness comes in waves.
I’m a science teacher and once I asked one of my lazy students if he knew the chemical symbol for sodium. He replied, ‘Na’. Lucky bastard.
Einstein’s General Theory of Relativity predicts a certain displacement of starlight, caused by a large mass; a solar eclipse in 1919 provided the first opportunity to test the theory. A reporter asked Einstein how he would feel if the observations did not support relativity. “I would then feel very sorry for God, for having designed the universe wrong”, Einstein replied.
A reporter went to interview the great Danish physicist Niels Bohr, and was astonished to discover that Bohr had a horseshoe hanging over his desk. “Surely you don’t believe, Dr. Bohr, that hanging a horseshoe will bring you good luck!” said the astonished reporter. “No, of course not. But I have been informed that it will bring me good luck whether I believe in it or not.”
Parallel lines have got so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.