HIGGS BOSON jokes and puns

  • A Higgs boson walks into a bar. The bartender says “You know, there were some guys in here looking for you.”
  • A Higgs boson walks into a bar. The barman doesn’t understand.
  • Yo mamma so fat, she pulls Higgs Boson particles into HER force field!
  • Yo momma is so fat, instead of Higgs bosons, she’s made up of Higgs bonbons!
  • Discovery of Higgs boson a blow to Bravo’s upcoming reality show America’s Next Top Standard Model.
  • I’ve got 99.9999% problems, but a Higgs ain’t one.
  • Are you there God particle? It’s me, average person that doesn’t understand you…
  • Do these Higgs bosons make me look fat?
  • Boson walks into a catholic church. Priest says “What are you doing here?” HB says “You can’t have mass without me”
  • Let’s just say the Higgs Boson has been very generous to Yo Momma…
  • A Higgs boson and a quark walk into the bar at CERN. The barman says “oh, smashing”.
  • Why was the Higgs Boson to blame for getting lost in the rainforest? Because jungle is massive.
  • A Higgs boson walks into a bar. “nice mass” observes one of the patrons.
  • New Diet: Cut out Higgs Bosons after 16:00 to reduce your mass.
  • Scientists not surprised to find Higgs boson in last place they looked.
  • The Higgs discovery makes me feel heavier already. What we need instead is the anti-Higgs. A particle that takes mass away.
  • A Higgs Boson walks into a bar. “Want a drink?” asks the barman. The Higgs boson doesn’t reply. Because it’s Higgs boson. Not a person.
  • Higgs Boson Explainer: It’s like, a particle, man.
  • Scientists finally find Higgs boson under chair in CERN breakroom. Swear they looked there already.
  • A priest, a Higgs boson and a neutrino walk into a bar. The bartender asks “what you guys do for a living?” The Priest and the Higgs say ”I give mass.” The neutrino says “That’s not my field.”

(Source: twitter #higgsjokes and http://bit.ly/M6A91C)

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About ~ wolfrayetstar

Science enthusiast and visual artist - hobbyist. Begginer in astrophotography and huge fan of nerdy jokes.
This entry was posted in Funny Physics and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to HIGGS BOSON jokes and puns

  1. Opus the Poet says:

    I like nerd jokes, and I “liked” this page. Seriously.

  2. Pingback: Science Jokes II. and Funny Science Quotes | Spherical Chickens in a Vacuum

  3. Anonymous says:

    A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest yells ‘get out!’ The Boson replies ‘But you can’t have mass without me’. The priest retorts ‘Actually, we can, because the Higgs mechanism contributes less than 0.1% of an atom’s mass. Most of the mass of an atom actually comes from the strong nuclear force.’ The Higgs Boson, defeated, exits and knows better than to try that sneaky shit again.

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