- A Higgs boson walks into a bar. The bartender says “You know, there were some guys in here looking for you.”
- A Higgs boson walks into a bar. The barman doesn’t understand.
- Yo mamma so fat, she pulls Higgs Boson particles into HER force field!
- Yo momma is so fat, instead of Higgs bosons, she’s made up of Higgs bonbons!
- Discovery of Higgs boson a blow to Bravo’s upcoming reality show America’s Next Top Standard Model.
- I’ve got 99.9999% problems, but a Higgs ain’t one.
- Are you there God particle? It’s me, average person that doesn’t understand you…
- Do these Higgs bosons make me look fat?
- Boson walks into a catholic church. Priest says “What are you doing here?” HB says “You can’t have mass without me”
- Let’s just say the Higgs Boson has been very generous to Yo Momma…
- A Higgs boson and a quark walk into the bar at CERN. The barman says “oh, smashing”.
- Why was the Higgs Boson to blame for getting lost in the rainforest? Because jungle is massive.
- A Higgs boson walks into a bar. “nice mass” observes one of the patrons.
- New Diet: Cut out Higgs Bosons after 16:00 to reduce your mass.
- Scientists not surprised to find Higgs boson in last place they looked.
- The Higgs discovery makes me feel heavier already. What we need instead is the anti-Higgs. A particle that takes mass away.
- A Higgs Boson walks into a bar. “Want a drink?” asks the barman. The Higgs boson doesn’t reply. Because it’s Higgs boson. Not a person.
- Higgs Boson Explainer: It’s like, a particle, man.
- Scientists finally find Higgs boson under chair in CERN breakroom. Swear they looked there already.
- A priest, a Higgs boson and a neutrino walk into a bar. The bartender asks “what you guys do for a living?” The Priest and the Higgs say ”I give mass.” The neutrino says “That’s not my field.”
(Source: twitter #higgsjokes and http://bit.ly/M6A91C)